What if the reason Sherlock knows nothing of the solar system is because The Doctor had to erase his memory of their travels.
And like The Doctor accidently erased a little bit to much, and that’s why Sherlock doesn’t know the Earth goes around the sun.
WHY WOULD YOU
parents making sex jokes
grandparents making sex jokes
nine-year-olds making sex jokes
we get from parent sex jokes to hitler
All conversations eventually lead to Hitler
"Men and women differ in their language patterns; for example, research suggests that men interrupt women more than women do men (a finding that surprises most men but not most women)."
Analyzing English Grammar, Klammer, Schulz, & Della Volpe, p. 21
you guys my grammar book is sassy
new goal: interrupt men I don’t like at every possible opportunity
We learned this in my psych class and every girl in class just kinda nodded knowingly.
Also, the chatty women thing is a myth. Men talk more in general.
(Source: katyrex, via tossthepj)
Alex: I wanna stick my penis in all of your vaginas right now.
Jack: Unless you have a penis.
Jack: You can't fit a penis inside a penis.
Jack: Trust me.
Jack: I've tried.
I thought shipping was supposed to be fun
(Source: zygoats, via deanpaintscaswings)
do u ever get like water hungry…
do u ever get like water hungry…
"what the fffffffffffffffheck"
- me trying to be more family friendly (via spookyjacob)
(Source: pfghhh, via help-someonescoming)
Lets all take a minute and realize the lack of creativity in the name “fire place”.
(Source: jennatalherpes, via satsukiryuin-sexual)
one of the worst things about becoming educated on social issues is when people are like ‘you used to have a sense of humor’
no i used to have internalized prejudices which i’ve worked really hard to overcome and i realize now that your jokes are shitty
if i was harry, i would have stuck a letter down the front of my pants and ran out on the front lawn bc
- the dursleys aren’t gonna chase me and cause a scene, it’d upset their pristine reputation
- if they DID chase me out, they’d have to put their hand down my pants to get to the letter and i’d just start screaming STRANGER DANGER STRANGER DANGER and fuck up their repuation for real
you would kill voldemort in first year at that rate
Why do radio presenters feel they need to talk all the way through the song
alas is such a nice word
but alas it is rarely used anymore
alas this is true
(I am working late at night in a 24-hour pharmacy. There are only three customers in the store: a scruffy but clean young couple and another gentleman. The woman in the young couple is very heavily pregnant, and her partner is picking up the range of baby hats we carry and holding them up against her stomach, then looking at the prices and sadly putting them back. They pick up a packet of the cheapest pain medication we carry and bring it to the counter.)
Female Customer: “I’m sorry, but can you please ask the pharmacist if these are safe for me to take?”
Me: “Of course!”
(While we’re waiting for the pharmacist to come out, they tell me they’re expecting their daughter any day now. The pharmacist has been watching the young couple since they came in.)
Pharmacist: “These are fine, but can I ask why you need them?”
Female Customer: “Oh, I have a horrible cough that’s making my back ache even worse. I can’t get to sleep.”
(The pharmacist goes through a list of cough medicines safe for her to take, before the young man shakes his head with tears in his eyes.)
Male Customer: “I’m sorry, I’ve just lost my job and we really can’t afford any of those. Sorry for wasting your time.”
Pharmacist: “That’s okay, but this packet is damaged, and legally I can’t let you take it. Seeing as it was the last one, let me and [my name] go look in the back for some more.”
(The pharmacist takes me out the back, where he puts three packets of name brand painkillers, four bottles of name brand cough syrup, a wheat bag for her back, a tin of formula, a packet of newborn nappies and a few of the hats the couple was looking at into a box. He hands me the box and tells me to take it out to them. I do and they both burst into tears, thanking us over and over again. They leave with huge smiles on their faces.)
Female Customer: “Thank you again!”
Other Customer: “I’m sorry, I couldn’t help but over hear. Did you say you just lost your job at [local company]?”
Male Customer: “Yes, I was an IT tech.”
Other Customer: “I own [other computer store in the area], and I’m looking for a new tech. Can you start tomorrow?”
(There were tears all round that night. A week later, the young woman brought in her beautiful daughter and a giant batch of cupcakes for the pharmacy staff. Best night at work ever!)